A New Beginning

Yesterday I weighed in at 280 pounds.

My self esteem is at it's all time lowest.


So, to keep with the trend of the new year, I am undergoing a lifestyle change.  I am currently making changes for myself.  My ultimate goal is to become a better person all around. Not just physically, but mentally as well.  


Thankfully, I'm not alone in this adventure I've embarked upon.  I have the love of my life next to me.  Her name is Michele. And I am completely and utterly in love with her.  It's amazing how can find such love when you had no idea you were looking for it.  I had no idea what happiness was until she showed me.


With her by my side I feel like I can do anything.  She has inspired me to make a healthier choice for myself.  She has not asked me to make any of the changes I have, and I know she loves me just the way I am.  But I want to be better, again for myself, but for us as well. 


The biggest challenge I've taken on is to quit smoking.  I have been a smoker for many, many years.  I started when I was just 11 years old! Crazy, I know.  I love a good cigarette. The one that you light right after you've had a really good meal. Or great sex. Or talking around a fire with a beer in your hand.  So many good cigarettes, for so many occasions.   


I've come to realize that none of it is good.  I've been without a cigarette for a little over 4 months now.  I've almost gone cold turkey.  I've only had a few, short, puffs, not even a full drag, and I thought I was going to puke.  I swear my mouth tasted like a dirty ash tray.  It was disgusting.  



I had also been using a vapor pen. Which has really been my savior.  I wasn't sure I wanted to jump on that band wagon with all the other trendy people.  But, I did. And it helped.  I've gotten to the point where I don't even use it. GO ME! I'm also starting the ever so fun: Low Carb Diet with a side of Weight Watchers.   I plan on writing more about that later, so I won't go overboard with that today.



Also, we will be training to run the Mini 500 marathon. So that is pretty huge.  Never run a day in my life.  And now I've signed up run a half marathon.  Crazy?  Maybe a little. But I'm gonna do it!!  We bought two brand new treadmills, so I have no reason at all to NOT do this.   I have to be honest with myself here... training isn't going so well.  We were to start this past Tuesday, however, we've been pretty under the weather.  We've managed to keep the diet under control and not fall off the wagon.   



I'm looking forward to this adventure.  I hope to keep this blog going as I continue to make this lifestyle change. I hope that if I continue to write about it, I'll be able to keep up with it.  So.... here we go...  Until next time.